Checking Out Latest Art Contests... Worthwhile?

Lately I've been looking into art contests to enter. I sometimes wonder if it's really worth entering these contests or not, since I'm not certain the kind of exposure that it really gives the artist's work. What kind of people actually look at these results, other than the artists? How much of the work brings about further commissions or sales of prints and originals? These are the things that matter. It means nothing if 10,000 artists know about you, but nobody buys anything. I have no desire to be another Van Gogh, who starves during my lifetime, only to become famous long after I'm dead.

A couple of the contests I've been checking out are the Linus Gallery's fantasy art competition. It's along the lines of the work I like to do, although a $35 entry fee feels a little steep, even if I do get 3 entries for that price. I enjoy true fantasy work, and this is something I would really enjoy doing some special piece of artwork for. However, the deadline is May 28. I'm not sure that I'll have the time to create something truly spectacular before then.

"Garganus"
pencil on paper, 4"x6"
The artist as a gargoyle

Another, similar, kind of competition that I'm looking at is the Slow Art surreal competition. Surreal can be fantastic or just simply weird. Another $35. But four images, at least.

These are, of course, advertising and promotional costs, and part of doing business. Like any advertising, you never know if it's going to pay off until afterwards. That's why for some kinds of advertising I wish they had a guarantee or worked on commission. Can you imagine the Yellow Pages working on commission from the sales they generate? I'm sure the company would fold. At least with the gallery competitions there is some exposure guaranteed, and those who win often get cash prizes or have their works shown in a physical gallery.

Another one I just noticed is the Slow Art "A Show of Heads". They are asking for artwork portraying the human head. Since there is one I'm already working on that does just that, it only seems good to get some extra mileage out of my work. These are more than online competitions, in that the works chosen are also put into their print magazine and the artists get more exposure this way. That, in itself, might be worth something.

Richeson 75 International, which supposedly gets something like 1 million hits a month, has a couple of contests I think that I'll enter as well. Of particular interest to me is their portraiture competition in July. They are one of the more expensive competitions to enter, at $30 for one image. But I also think they'll be worth it.

It is my goal to enter no less than 4 such contests for the remainder of 2012. There are four right here... Now get to work, Johanus!

Creating a Newsletter for my Art & Armour

Well, I've finally decided that I should create a newsletter for my art and armour. For me it will be a way to keep myself motivated to keep progressing in my work, it will help me to think about where I'm going and what I'm doing, and what direction I want to go in. It is also a way of tracking what I've been doing. I can keep a bit of track of my production and what I've accomplished over the last while. It is also a tool that I can use to give some comments on art itself and maybe pass some of my experience on.

I realise that this means that at least once a month I will have to sit down and write for a few hours to get it all done. What I'm actually thinking is that I will take an hour or two each week and write for this, then release it once a month. I know that there are some who only do quarterly newsletters. But I want to give more value to people.

So, here's what I'm thinking of for content:

A. Personal Notes: a little bit on what's happening in my personal life and how that influences my art.
B. Latest Projects: What I've recently completed and what plans I have for new works. May include some concept sketches for future projects that I'm thinking of. Future projects may or may not materialize, as is the nature of art. Sometimes there are other things that get in the way, sometimes as an artist I'm just not sure what the best thing to produce is. In that sense it would help for people to give me feedback or even if they see things they like the idea of they could commission it for themselves.
C. Upcoming Shows: any shows that I have committed to, whether trade shows, expos (like the comic expo in Calgary last month), or gallery exhibitions.
D. Contests I've Entered, if any. Suggestions from readers would also be appreciated for ones that I should consider entering.
E. Art Notes: comments on techniques, mediums, historical artwork, etc. Here's where I get to play teacher, historian, and art critic (ha ha).

What do people think of these ideas? Comments are greatly appreciated!

You can sign up for my newsletter on my website: Haidner Art Studio & Armoury. I expect to have it out within the week, probably on Sunday. How's that for a Mother's Day surprise?

What's it Really Like to Run Your Business From Home

My week is not like most people's weeks are. My schedule is quite unusual. I work odd hours. I often work more hours than people realize. And I make less than a lot of people probably think I do. Let's start with my typical week...

Every day for me usually begins at 7am. On Sundays (first day of the week for me) I often finish my morning routine by 8:30. I take it a little easier this day, as I sometimes stay up late on Saturday night. I'll start my morning doing my week's plan. This consists of what things I want to complete this week - project tasks, marketing, and personal goals. It's here that I plan out each hour of the week and try to be as accurate as I can in this. I've yet to get it completely right, as I have never estimated the time correctly that many tasks take, so I'm always behind. Maybe this is why I always feel like I'm rushed.

My planning usually takes less than an hour. And so I spend the rest of the morning working on whatever task is most important for the week. This is usually a project that I wanted to get done the previous week, whether it's artwork, accounting, or marketing. I plan out when, but not what, I am going to do my marketing for each week, as well as my production time. I've noticed that, at this point, I still have to spend at least half of my tie in administration and marketing. I do hope that I will start to bring in enough money that I can subcontract some of this out or hire a part-time employee to take care of a lot of it.

I plan every hour of my week, including time with my family and friends. So, if someone hasn't booked with me by Sunday, chances are that they won't get me until the next week. Ha ha!

My Sunday's vary as to what I do, but the really consistent things are that all morning is spent working, and often the afternoon until at least 5pm, sometimes later. This is a regular work day for me, and I tell all of my friends and family that. They still seem to get upset that I don't just drop everything and spend time with them. Sunday evenings are my me time, and I play some games with friends every week.

My Mondays are also a work day. Typically this is a production day. I work from 8 o'clock in the morning until I go to bed at night, with breaks only for meals, etc. Once a month I take the time to teach a short martial arts workshop. It's not really profitable, but I love doing it! And so I keep it up. And about once a month I will take the evening off to spend with someone close. :-)

Tuesdays are similar to Mondays - they are also work days. I again start by 8 am. And I work until 6pm. At that time I grab a really quick supper and head off to my martial arts class that I teach until 9:30 that night. This is every Tuesday! Some weeks it's the only exercise I get on the day my kids aren't with me.

Wednesdays are like Tuesdays. I start work by 8am and work until 4:30 pm, though. This is because I go pick up my kids from their mom's and bring them home. Wednesday evenings are often spent with my kids, doing little else except visiting them and perhaps catching up on housework. It's always a tough evening, as they try to push and get away with as much as they can. My daughter is often extra whiny and pushes really hard to get her way, including staying up late. If I manage to get the kids in bed on time (8pm for Ariana, 8:30 for Daveed), I can spend another hour working in my office doing marketing or administration or I can work on some drawings. If you can figure it out, by Wednesday I have worked my 40 hours already, sometimes more.

Ariana showing off the cloak I made her

Thursdays are sometimes a complete write-off for work. My daughter isn't in school at all that day, so she wants my attention at all times. As the weather improves, however, she will spend more time outside with her friends in the afternoon and evening. This means I can get 3 or 4 hours of work in when the weather is nice, including the little evening time that my kids want to play with their friends. I can't really do any noisy work, because I monitor them mostly by ear. I work in my office, keeping the door open (it has an outside door), so I can hear them all the time.

Friday mornings, as soon as I drop Ariana off at school, I spend working on whatever drawing project I have going at the time. This is actually how I have completed all of the illustrations, thus far, for the forthcoming "Secret Places" children's book. So, this is another 3 hours of work I manage to get in! Sometimes in the afternoon I can get another hour or two in if Ariana is playing with her friend Izzy, who lives a couple of doors down. But other times I spend it with her. We will bake or play games or read, usually. She likes it when we make cakes, but bread is beyond her patience, because she doesn't like waiting for it to rise.

After school on Fridays I always check my son's homework and make sure that he is aware of what has to be done, and he agrees on what he's going to do for the week. A lot of times it means agreeing to do things at his mom's, then me checking his progress on Wednesday evening when he's back home. The kids like to play with their friends when the weather is nice, so I allow it and spend the time when they're outside marketing, writing, or doing administration. Right now I make very little from my writing. I do have a couple of projects on the go that I am hoping will pay some reasonable amounts once they're published. Time will tell. Friday evenings starts Shabbos. Once the candles are lit it means kids are inside and there are no computers allowed to be on. This includes any handheld games and the Wii. This is our family time! From here until sundown on Saturday our time is not for work, but only for family and G-d. We often stay up late together on Friday nights. The kids are allowed to stay up as late as they want. This usually means that Ariana is asleep by 9pm and Daveed within and hour of that. It is rare that either of them goes to sleep before nine or stays awake past ten. They just get tired! And so do I. If I'm really tired, they end up going to bed, because they don't want to stay up alone. I'm sure that will change in a few years, though. ;-)

Saturdays we have a nice family routine. The mornings are always a special breakfast, and we often don't get out of bed before 8am. My daughter dances, for now, so we go to her class each morning. While she's in class Daveed and I read. Up until a couple of weeks ago I would either read to him or he to me, but he started reading silently to himself and only asking for my input when he can't figure out a word. We sit close together and cuddle while reading, which I really like. It won't last for too much longer, as he's already seven. The rest of Saturday is spent together doing whatever we can find that is fun! Often we go out for the afternoon to the playground or a park or something else special. Most Saturday evenings their mom comes and picks them up, but about once or twice a month they spend the night with me and don't go home until late Saturday morning. They're good about this and tend to let me work, often going outside to play with their friends as soon as there's noise. It's pretty good that way!

And that my weekly routine. I try to take advantage of every minute I can to get some work in, and realise that I actually work at least 50 hours each week. It often seems like I don't get a lot done at the end of the week. There is only so much of my work that is billable, however. I'm probably spending 30 hours on non-billable work - things that keep my business going, such as administration, cleaning (artwork and armour are messy), accounting, marketing, and research. Then I spend the other 20 on payable work. This means that if I wanted to make $50,000 per year I'd have to charge $100 per hour on that "billable" time. I actually make less than that. No, I won't tell you what, but it's just enough to survive with me and my two kids.

Papa & Kids, Canada Day 2009

Working for yourself is often tough! You have to be disciplined. You will have to make sacrifices. There were weeks early on when I had a hard time pulling myself out of bed, or getting myself to work when I should have. I sometimes thought that I could multitask and either watch TV or listen to a book on CD while I was working. I couldn't. It slowed my production way too much. I ended up cancelling my cable, because I never watched TV any more, and neither did my kids. I had some great mentoring from Tyler at VisionCast that helped me motivate myself in my business. Now when we want to watch something, it's a move from the library. We go the library every other Thursday afternoon as part of our routine.

There are some nights when I will work until midnight (at least once a week). I've even worked until 3am and then got up at 6:30 to keep working, because I have deadlines on projects. This is really hard for me, since I have a sleep disorder that makes me sleepy almost all the time and demands more sleep than average (it's called idiopathic CNS hypersomnolence, possibly caused by fibromyalgia), as the medications for it either are ineffective or give me the shakes or palpitations. Can't have the shakes and be a good artist!

But working from home is worth it! If I need to run out and deal with something with my kids, I can. I can pick them up and drop them off from school every day. I can use Thursdays to spend time with them, since it's their short day at school. Yes, my social life is limited because I work and am a single parent. It wouldn't be an issue if I weren't a single parent. But my kids are worth it! Yes, I might have to deal with a work issue at 9pm. I have had clients call me at 10 at night. But I can be flexible enough to deal with it all. I work more hours than most people for less pay. But the flexibility and the pleasure in what I do make it worth it. I make less than half of what I did working full-time (I was an accountant). And I hope I never have to turn back to working for someone else again!

Finding Direction

No, this isn't about getting lost or using a GPS!  In life many of us are constantly searching for direction. We seem like a bunch of lost children, whether we're six or sixty, muddling about with no real purpose and specific goal to our existence. There are times that I think people exist their whole lives without a real purpose. And that is what kills many of them in the end.

"Lady Blue"
20"x26", pastel on paper, 1989

A purpose in life gives us something to strive for. It gives us direction. It helps us to find things to keep our minds active and our bodies wholesome. The greater this purpose is expressed in ourselves, the greater it can push us to move forward and to be as human beings. But the greatness of this purpose is something that can only be judged by the person who chooses this purpose. Whether your purpose is to be the best mechanic in your neighbourhood (and to keep it that way), or help others with some specific and lofty task (such as Gandhi of Mother Theresa), or simply to produce something that makes you smile, it doesn't matter. It's the having and striving as part of this that makes the difference.

I've been thinking about my purpose and direction lately. Or maybe I should say my multiple directions in life. For me, my kids are always first. But that's only a time-limited thing, as one day they will strike out on their own and I will have to put me first again. And so I try to integrate that into my daily life. For years I lived without a purpose. I existed only. I worked hard, yes. I even had a fairly good career. Careers are important! They take up at least 1/3 of our time and usually more, since we think about them when we're not at work. So spending that much of one's life without reason and merely existing seems pointless. Yet, most of us live that way.

A year ago I lost my employment. It was a nice job, that I was enjoying a lot and truly believed had some great potential. But the company owner decided that it was over - he wanted to put his resources elsewhere. And I realized that I really didn't have a direction in my life. What was I going to do? I could have easily went back into accounting full time. But I also knew that was not for me. I would have ended up with a complete breakdown by now, I'm sure of it. And that wouldn't have been good for my kids or me. And all I could think about was my creative outlets. My writing. My drawing. My armour. My sculpture.

Ever since I was a kid all I wanted to do was artwork and writing. I realize that is quite broad. There's so much to the artwork that I am capable of, it confuses people. I can draw. I can paint. I can sculpt. I can draw with pencils, pastels, inks, found media, charcoal... anything. And I know how to paint with oil, acrylic, watercolour, and other media. And I can sculpt from metal, wood, clay, and more. I can make jewellery with gold and silver. I can make armour. And I can even work leather. I don't think there are too many artists who are capable of working with so many things. My mind wanders easily. I get bored with one thing and have to move on to another. I think that is why I have learned so many creative methods.

Does my art need more direction, though? I so sometimes wonder if I should focus on one medium more - not to the complete exclusion of others - but for the majority of my work. What is my purpose in life and art?

I do need to write! There are a few projects that I will finish in this regard. But I have more focus in my writing and know what my priorities are there. The visual art.... Well, I confuse people with what I do. There is so little understanding of someone who really is capable of so many things! And so I think that I will have to concentrate on two or three mediums over the next six months and see if that helps. I've already chosen metal as one of these. Maybe less true armour and more "art". But I also have to do some of my drawing, or I will go nuts. I need that outlet!

In this past year, I feel as if I've found who I am once again. It's like the previous 12 years or so I was living in a world of someone else's dream. It wasn't mine. I was only going through the motions of surviving. And I could have been caught in that for a few more decades. And it would have killed me and all the wonder I can bring to the world. Isn't art a good purpose to have?

Calgary Comic Expo - a Real Learning Experience

So, last weekend I was at the Calgary Comic Expo, which had an estimated 50,000 people attend. Obviously most of these never saw my stuff, or I would have been sold out. ;-)  But seriously, I know that my Artist Alley space should have been much better displayed than it was.  I have a tonne of ideas for future such events.

One thing I'm going to do is make, buy, or rent a higher table to set up behind the one that is already there. This will add another layer and some more table space. Plus the higher table will give a bit of a backing to set up some 2-dimensional works on. So, imagine another, higher table that probably is as high as the open (raised) part of the jewellery case shown here.

Now, in addition to that I want to get something to set up prints of and/or original paintings and drawings on behind these tables. So, with that I can display much more! And speaking of displaying more.... I want to have a suit of armour finished so that I can set that off to the side as part of my display, too! Imagine how cool it would look, and how many people it would attract, to have that by my space!

And I want all of these moved into the back part of my space, so that I can be in front of it all the time. I would also like to have a stand-up easel so that I can do a little bit of work while I'm there. It would be nice to show that I do original hand drawn and painting work, rather than the computer generated stuff that is so common at these kinds of shows. And this whole set up would work at any kind of trade show!

I do have some upcoming shows:

1. Mediaeval May: May 27, 2012 at Ritchie Hall (7727 - 98 Street, Edmonton), from 11 am to 4 pm.
2. Discover-E Trade Show, June 23, 2012, at the Executive Royal Inn (178 Street & 100 Ave, Edmonton)
3. Knights of the Nortern Realm, 11th annual Tournament and Market, Saturday, July 7, 10:00 am - 5:00 pm
   Dr. Wilbur McIntyre Park, 104 Street & 83 Avenue - good weather location
   Ritchie Community Centre, 7727  - 98 Street - bad weather location

Come to these all. I'll have new work at each of them, of course. 

Hope to see lots of people at all of these!

Self Esteem and Our Outer Image

Our self-image and personal growth is in constant flux. Sometimes what seems like the smallest thing can influence a major change, and at other times what might be considered major can have little influence on either. People, of course, are the biggest influencers. And we tend to be particularly vulnerable to this influence when we are younger. Some people grow faster than other, emotionally and mentally. This allows their self-perception and personal growth to develop further than those who don’t. This often comes from adversity.

Adversity – pain – is a good teacher. So long as it doesn’t destroy us first. It is known that suicide amongst teenagers is high when compared with other age groups. And I believe it is because of this influence and pain. Our self-images are too often influenced by what is around us, rather than what is within us. Media is saturated with the concept of how important beauty is. Fairy tales and folklore are even rife with it. The fair princess, the handsome prince… Even the one story that seemingly emphasizes the inner person, Beauty and the Beast, has as its reward a beautiful exterior.

Yes, that's my art in the background:

"Rainstorm". Ink on paper, 1997
39-1/2" x 58-1/2"

To some extent we truly cannot help how we look. Yes, we can choose our clothing. We can decide how to style our hair. We can even wear makeup (especially acceptable for women). And, of course, we can choose our body form to a great extent, even though this is often the most difficult. Yes, fitness or lack thereof is a choice. Yet, regardless of these choices, our self-image is often formed by what is inside of us. And whether conscious or subconscious, we make these choices and it affects our esteem, whether positive or negative.

It can be a vicious circle.

We make a choice about food, sometimes because it’s simpler to eat and it’s tough to exercise. And what does that do to our body? This is a choice we make. And it’s usually not consciously done. And people may comment on it. Their comments can affect how we view ourselves, depending on how society views the effects of our choices. Being overweight sucks! At least for some people. Others will judge them for this. Or at least “society” as a whole will. How we handle that judgement is up to us.

Personally, I believe that we each must realize that it is our choice to look as we do, physically. And that is the most important thing. We each have to accept the face G-d gave us. And piss on anyone who has a problem with that!

But how do we teach that to the youths?

Calgary Comic Expo... On a Wing and a Prayer

It's been many years since I've sold at a Convention of any sort. I used to sell at SF and Fantasy conventions back in the 1990's. It was usually profitable. I sold only jewellery. But now I've expanded into selling prints of my artwork, and am hoping to take some orders for armour. We'll see about that happening. It's kind of scary!

For me this was a "last minute" kind of thing. I only heard about the convention a month ago and decided to see if I could get into it. And, much to my surprise, a spot came up and I got in! I would much prefer to have several original artworks available - and the prints for them - that are centred around the SF/Fantasy genre. A lot of my work isn't. I know that I really enjoy that kind of art, though. Yes, I'm the eclectic artist who does things in all manner of genres. But not everything is appropriate for all shows.

Blue Butterfly - 3-1/2" x 2" ink drawing

The big thing about this show is that I will be using it primarily as a learning experience. It is certain that I will be going next year! From this year's show I will learn what kinds of things sell, and what I should prepare for next year. I will also learn the best ways to present myself at this particular venue. Plus it will help me for other shows that are upcoming. I have one at the end of May (it's really small, with the Knights of the Northern Realm), another in June, and another in July. That's one each month! The May show probably isn't going to be a great seller, but I do expect to learn from it, as well. I'm thinking that I will have to figure out a way to display my prints, perhaps some original drawings, and a good way to display my three-dimensional works. And by June I expect to have some print copies of my game, too.

Selling a role-playing game is likely to be a challenge, as well. I wanted to have the system completed by March 30, but have been unable to keep up with that schedule. This is partially my fault, as I haven't managed my time (in March) as well as I should have. I've learned from that, and am now working much more diligently! I've realised that I was spending too much time on my marketing efforts, which haven't been paying off. I have since learned that having an extensive portfolio is more important at this stage of the game. And so I will be doing more production. In fact, other than the couple of tax returns I have to get done this weekend, I will be spending all of my time preparing for this show.

I will be making a lot of prints of my work. Some of what I'll do is art card editions and originals (ACEOs). These are the small prints, about the size of a business card, which I will be selling. I can think of a lot of drawings I have that are suitable for this! Or at least a dozen or so. ;-) My miniatures, such as the butterfly series are well suited to such a size. The butterflies, however, were originally done with small writing cards in mind. I was thinking of printing these on some good card paper and then selling them as such. I know I'll do a lot of those. I just hope they'll sell!

I will also be doing several prints of my gestural drawings, some of my fantasy ink drawings, and taking stuff to see if I can get orders for my armour. There is so much to get done! As much as I'm looking forward to the show, however, I am going to miss my kids. I can't take them to the show, as they'd have to miss school on Friday, and their mom usually has them on Sundays, so that would also be an issue. So I will drop them off at school Friday morning and their mom will have them for the whole weekend. <sigh> I will miss them a lot! Maybe next year I can bring one of them with me. My son will be old enough to handle it. And there are some events he might enjoy...

So, if you're in Calgary next weekend, come by the Expo and check out my booth!

Missing Being Able to Call my Kids

I thought a lot about my kids today. Last night my son called me from his baba's, surprising me quite a bit. It's very rare that he calls me at all of his own accord. But he is only seven-years-old. It was great to speak with him, even for a few minutes! And of course I also spoke with my 5-year-old daughter. She doesn't usually talk much on the phone, but when she does, it's hard to let her go, as she talks quite a lot!

I love hearing about their day! It perks me up to hear their voices, each day. But lately that hasn't been possible. Their mom's phone has supposedly broken down and she is unable to get it fixed. She says she can't afford it. I have a hard time believing her, since last month she spend 10 days in the Dominican Republic for vacation. I strongly believe that it is important for each of us to be accessible by phone because of the issues that can happen with the kids. What if there is an emergency? What if something happens to one of their grandparents? Or to the other parent?

I also believe that we should be able to speak with our kids every day. My kids' mom has a history of cutting off my access to them when she is angry and wants me to give her money. We're currently fighting about the money she owes me. Part of the issue here is that we recently sold a house and I refused to let her take the money from it, since she owes me more money than the value of the proceeds. My kids aren't tools. And I find it reprehensible that she has used them that way in the past. Ah well...

Most days when I talk with my kids they tell me about what they did at school. My son's big thing is to tell me that he hasn't learned anything. Then he tells me about the things that he did in school, which usually contradicts the previous statement. :-)  It's often amusing, but great to hear! But my daughter is more straight-forward. She tells me all about her friends and the things they did in school together, and usually proceeds to tell me about what "Madam" (her teacher) said that day that sticks in her mind.

 And the kids also like telling me about their friends, any crafts or arts that they do, and the movies and shows they watch, and any games they play. There is TV every day at their mom's, so I do hear a lot about that. But I enjoy it more hearing about their friendships, any games they play (whether with their friends, each other, or their mom), and about the things they like to make. I am surprised that their mom has chosen to fore-go this part of her day when they are with me. Her boyfriend does have a phone. And she lives with him. But I am shouldn't be surprised, really. Games, games, games... Why can't the only games that are played be the ones that our kids play? And that we play with them? Better to have honest fun, I think!

Maybe I'm just missing my kids today, without my usual contact with them. I wish I could call them now... <sigh>

Martial Arts and Life Long Learning

Yesterday I participated in the annual Bushido Alberta Open, which is one of the larger open martial arts tournaments in our fair province. I fought in six events: longsword, double-stick, sword & dagger, dagger, single stick, and black belt (point) sparring. And my son, Daveed, sparred in the event for his age group (6 & 7-year-olds). I'm pretty proud of him for his participation! He did really well, when you look at it. Was that other kid actually seven? He's a giant!



Yes, martial arts is a big part of my life. I teach a class every Tuesday evening here in Edmonton. It concentrates mostly on weapons, and is a complete system (meaning that it includes all modes of self defence, from unarmed to using improvised weapons to specific training with a variety of weapons, historical and modern).

Back to yesterday... My kids were both with me, and they both said that they had a lot of fun! I, of course, enjoyed myself, too. I wouldn't do this if it wasn't fun. :-) I managed to take two medals, both silver (one doesn't look silver, because they ran out of bronze medals, so were using gold for silver, and silver for bronze... odd); one for the sword and dagger, the other for the black belt point sparring. I was so exhausted by the end of the day that I was surprised I managed to do that! The last fight was one of the better fights I've had in years, as the techniques were so clean and crisp against the other guy (and from him, of course), that it was a lot like poetry in motion. I wish I had been able to film it. Not just to see what it was from an outsider's view, but also to analyze my fighting to see how I could improve. Yes, I know for a fact that I can greatly improve my skills! But learning and improvement is a life-long endeavour, regardless of what skills one is referring to.

I know that the martial arts is something that I will do as long as my body is fit enough for me to move well enough. And even then I will continue to try and learn. One thing I learned is that I am sorely out of shape! I woke up this morning and could hardly move, my muscles were so full of lactic acid. Ouch! Even now raising my right arm is painful in the shoulder muscles. It gives me more resolve to get into better shape, though. I want to be one of those old men, when I'm in my sixties and seventies, who runs circles around guys in their thirties. Heh heh! But lots of work to do before that happens. I figure it'll take me a year to get into the kind of shape that I want to be, with working out on a regular basis (at least 3 times per week). I know what I'm doing at 7 o'clock tomorrow morning...

Making a Living as an Artist

I've often thought about doing an online sales site - selling controversial or unusual items, such as sex toys or an advice book or something similar - in addition to my art. Sometimes I think that such a thing would sell enough that I wouldn't have to worry too much financially and could spend more time producing art and less time worrying over my cash flow. Why does everything have to be so expensive?

Of course I could get by with a lot less if I didn't spend $1000+ per month on debts from the failed marriage to my kids' mom. But that's another issue that is taking forever to deal with. I just haven't been willing to declare bankruptcy, as I haven't absolutely had to (yet). That's another story....

Is it worth the time to even think about such a writing project? And what would I write about? I suppose I could write about dating as a single parent and fill an eBook with tidbits of advice in that area. I could even interview several single parents I know about the subject. That could be cool! But would it sell? Would it be  worth all the time and effort of writing it, let alone all the marketing it would take? Or how about sex as a single parent? Or just sex? Everybody likes sex. Right? Well, maybe not if you're someone I used to know... Again another story (one I'll probably never tell).

These thoughts are always inspired by frustrations in my finances. When you don't know exactly how much you're going to make in a given month, and whether it's going to be enough to cover your bills, there is some worry. It's not like I can go live at home with my parents if things get tough. I try not to tell my kids about exactly how tight things can be - there's no need to worry them. They're much to young to even think about such things.

So, is such writing a good idea? What about making an affiliate site, were I sell other people's things and take a commission from what I sell? I'm not sure that's worth it at all. I'd have to bust my butt to get people to my site, probably spend money on advertising, and still not be certain if it worked. The more I think about it, the more I think that I should just stick to making artwork and writing my own things. I truly love that! For me, doing the artwork isn't really work. Well, it is. And there are times when I have to force myself to start. But once I'm going, I get lost in the work and LOVE what I'm doing. Yes, I'd do my writing and artwork even if I didn't get paid for it. And lots of times I don't. Of course it would be nice to be able to say that I'm working on a certain series or project, and have someone express an interest and say they want to buy it before it's done. I'm sure that'll happen someday.

But for now I have to push myself to get those projects that other people want first. Then I can work on the things I like!

Some of the projects I am working on:

• a set of full metal finger gauntlets for a client in the USA
• a set of mitten gauntlets for a client in Calgary
• a coat of plates, based on one of the more complex Wisby finds
• Mythic Hero (my fantasy role playing game)
• a book on Western Martial Arts
• a series of erotic ink drawings
• the cover for Mythic Hero
• a fiction book
• a full circle leather cloak, lined with wool
• a couple of illuminated pieces of short prose

Those are things in progress now. There are also many projects that I would like to start, including:

• a comic
• a samurai tie
• a portrait of my kids
• "Zombie Love" painting
• a Norse helm, complete with knotwork brass covering the outside
• a metal top hat
• male and female nude "armour" torsos (these are sculptures, not armour; but they are armour inspired)
• several nude studies
• a few fantasy drawings and paintings (I need some models for this, too).
• a book on self defense
• a book on knife fighting
• an armour (metal) tie based on Celtic knotwork
• the final two drawings for "The Secret Places" children's book by Lily Enzinger (I'm glad I don't have a deadline on this)
• a metal crest and illuminated crest for The Academy of European Swordsmanship
• several other paintings:
• more in the zombie series
• a series of erotic painting with angels and devils
• a series of abstract erotic paintings
• a series based on the idea of the "Mythic Hero" in legend and history
• Several drawings:
• more in my butterfly miniature series
• a "Space Babe" series
• an "Armoured Babe" series
• several erotic ink drawings
• a "Career Babes" series
• an erotic male series
• and much more!

I have more ideas coming all the time, so inspiration is never a problem. It's time. It's money. I actually spend a lot of my time still doing other work to make ends meet, and art accounts for about 60% to 70% of my working time (and about 50% of my income). Maybe that's why I wish some of these internet schemes really were easy ways to make money. Of course they're not. And that's why I stick to my art and writing. I know that if I push these and keep plugging at it I will eventually make it in the field. I just hope I don't starve first!

Heart to Art

Explaining what my art is to me is never an easy thing. It's always complicated to explain something that is so broad and so diverse and has such an impact on my life. Art has always been important to me. In my high school year book everyone had to write what they wanted to be. I put "world famous artist". To me art has always meant more than just painting or drawing or sculpting. It also means writing. It means combining the two, which could mean illustrating my own work or someone else's writing. Or making the words themselves into a visual experience. 

"Split Earth" cuff bracelet

Yes, I do a variety of work. In the past year I've worried a lot about my art lacking a specific focus. I guess my whole life has been like that up until now. I've neglected my art career over the last decade quite a bit. In the 1990's I was in several juried shows, particularly for my silversmithing work, participated in group exhibitions, and had my work displayed in galleries throughout Western Canada. Could I even name one of those shows today? Nope... I lost all the information ages ago, probably when I moved to Germany, where I completed my MBA. That was a waste of time for me!

Well, maybe not completely. I did manage to visit some awesome galleries and museums. I got kicked out of the Louvre because I didn't hear the closing announcement and was still sketching and looking at work. <sigh> And I was about the 10th person in that day. I still didn't get to see everything I wanted, in that museum and several others. I'm hoping to go back again someday, perhaps when my kids are a little older. That way I can take them along and they can enjoy it, too.

I read a great quote from another artist earlier today:

"...I have stopped believing in a lot of what is thought of as art these days. It’s as if a couple of hundred, dull-headed middle-aged men and women – not just artists, but educators, curators, gallerists, and critics – have come up with a set of rules to define what real art and real artists are. The rules are vague and yet still as constrictive and moralistic as anything concocted by a Reformation cleric. Which is, I guess, exactly what one should expect since art became a kind of religion in the late 20th century, a cargo cult for the upper-middle-class, with the artists themselves playing make-shift shamen." - Hazel Dooney

It reminds me a lot of when I was in art school, back at the University of Calgary. It seemed that the professors were so pretentious and that if your art wasn't similar to theirs and what they thought art should be, it simply didn't matter. And even if you met all of the "technical" and other criteria that was outlined in an assignment, you could fail for their own judgement mattered most. It had to be the "art" they wanted it to be. And realism was greatly frowned upon at that time. It's one of the reasons that I switched my major from drawing to English composition (writing). And the dean of humanities almost didn't let me, because I had so many art courses that it was usually looked at as a double major. I bit the bullet and had art put on my transcript as a minor. Meh... I'm not sure it matters at all today. What I think matters most is the art itself.

Nowadays I make a lot of different things, artistically. I still do quite a bit of jewellery. And as drawing was my major, I do a lot of that. I sculpt. I make armour. I paint. My topics for all artistic mediums include landscapes, animals, people, historical and mythic subjects (my art professors hated that!), and some more controversial things. I'm very interested in fantasy, sexuality, and the human condition. And so I explore these things in my art and my writing. Even when I make jewellery I want it to be at least somewhat artistic. I rarely do anything that isn't like that any more (I'm glad I don't have to).

Art is truly the core of my heart. It is in everything I do and how I view the entire world. It influences everything I do - so it's no wonder it was such torture for me to be a full time accountant, which I did for a number of years (due to family pressure, particularly those I had married). I realized a couple of years ago that I had to live my life for me firstly. And then for my children. And that is all that matters, truly! My kids needed a sane dad. I was literally losing my hair and having a lot of health problems because of the stress of my life. And a huge portion of that was coming from doing work that I hated. Since I've been back to doing art full time, I've been healthier, happier, and easier to get along with. And my kids love that I can actually spend some real time with them! They their priorities straight -- they'd rather I spent time with them than worked tonnes and tonnes away from home to make a living. And being an artist allows me the flexibility to be with them on the days they live with me (they spend half of their time living with their mom).

With my kids I never have to explain my art. They simply accept that all the things I do are okay, and it doesn't have to fit into a particular style or genre or medium of work. I can make a leather belt with cool drawings all over it one day and the next day do the plans for a historical Norse Spangenhelm, complete with cool dragon knotwork in brass, then the next day work on an abstract drawing or painting, and a week later be doing something realistic. My son's favourite, of course, is when I draw monsters. He loves the fantasy theme work. And my daughter's favourites are my butterfly series and my fairies (sometimes I think I do those just for her) and one of my abstract paintings.

So, really, how do I define my art? There is no simple way to do so. I have to say that it is whatever inspires me, regardless of medium or topic, genre or style. My art ranges from the abstract to the comic, to realistic to fantasy, to wearable couture to the impractical and modern, from family oriented to sexually provocative. Maybe it's because I'm complex and don't fit into a simple mould. Nor would I want to. Life is much too interesting for that.