Our self-image and personal growth is in
constant flux. Sometimes what seems like the smallest thing can influence a
major change, and at other times what might be considered major can have little
influence on either. People, of course, are the biggest influencers. And we
tend to be particularly vulnerable to this influence when we are younger. Some
people grow faster than other, emotionally and mentally. This allows their
self-perception and personal growth to develop further than those who don’t.
This often comes from adversity.
Adversity – pain – is a good teacher. So
long as it doesn’t destroy us first. It is known that suicide amongst teenagers
is high when compared with other age groups. And I believe it is because of
this influence and pain. Our self-images are too often influenced by what is
around us, rather than what is within us. Media is saturated with the concept
of how important beauty is. Fairy tales and folklore are even rife with it. The
fair princess, the handsome prince… Even the one story that seemingly
emphasizes the inner person, Beauty and the Beast, has as its reward a
beautiful exterior.
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Yes, that's my art in the background:
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To some extent we truly cannot help how we
look. Yes, we can choose our clothing. We can decide how to style our hair. We
can even wear makeup (especially acceptable for women). And, of course, we can
choose our body form to a great extent, even though this is often the most
difficult. Yes, fitness or lack thereof is a choice. Yet, regardless of these
choices, our self-image is often formed by what is inside of us. And whether
conscious or subconscious, we make these choices and it affects our esteem,
whether positive or negative.
It can be a vicious circle.
We make a choice about food, sometimes
because it’s simpler to eat and it’s tough to exercise. And what does that do
to our body? This is a choice we make. And it’s usually not consciously done. And
people may comment on it. Their comments can affect how we view ourselves,
depending on how society views the effects of our choices. Being overweight sucks!
At least for some people. Others will judge them for this. Or at least “society”
as a whole will. How we handle that judgement is up to us.
Personally, I believe that we each must realize that it is our choice to look as we do, physically. And that is the
most important thing. We each have to accept the face G-d gave us. And piss on
anyone who has a problem with that!
But how do we teach that to the youths?
Interesting, I was thinking about this exact thing quite a bit this week.
ReplyDeleteIf we aren't content, or happy with who we are deep down, then we are like a bottomless bucket that needs to be filled up constantly by those around us.
That gives others the power to crush us, and also puts a huge strain on relationships as we want the people we care about to assure us that we're ok. And no matter how much assurance, more is always needed.
Then, I went for a walk, to ponder how all that applies in my life, and what steps a person can be taking to pour contentment and life into themselves, instead of getting it from the outside. Some things that came to mind were, do the things you love! Get the sketchbook out, start drawing, get the guitar out, start playing, write a journal... obviously different things for different people.
Hi Angela!
ReplyDeleteOne thing that always bugs me about this is the way that media portrays the importance of being beautiful. Like I mentioned above, even the one "fairy tale" that seems to be positive and stress the inner person actually changes and makes the outer looks extremely important. Yes, pretty is appealing. But there's SO much more... We have to battle this bombardment continually. I am sometimes finding it hard to impress how unimportant it really is to my 5-year-old daughter. And it's worse with girls than boys, I've noticed...
My daughter spent her first 12-14 years almost continually covered in eczema, she had very few friends in the early grades. However, she developed into a really strong person, and has loads of compassion for others. I think it's so important that they know what we as parents value about them, because the images are constantly in our faces. Though people in Hollywood etc. are beginning to look odd. Imo
ReplyDelete