Finding Direction

No, this isn't about getting lost or using a GPS!  In life many of us are constantly searching for direction. We seem like a bunch of lost children, whether we're six or sixty, muddling about with no real purpose and specific goal to our existence. There are times that I think people exist their whole lives without a real purpose. And that is what kills many of them in the end.

"Lady Blue"
20"x26", pastel on paper, 1989

A purpose in life gives us something to strive for. It gives us direction. It helps us to find things to keep our minds active and our bodies wholesome. The greater this purpose is expressed in ourselves, the greater it can push us to move forward and to be as human beings. But the greatness of this purpose is something that can only be judged by the person who chooses this purpose. Whether your purpose is to be the best mechanic in your neighbourhood (and to keep it that way), or help others with some specific and lofty task (such as Gandhi of Mother Theresa), or simply to produce something that makes you smile, it doesn't matter. It's the having and striving as part of this that makes the difference.

I've been thinking about my purpose and direction lately. Or maybe I should say my multiple directions in life. For me, my kids are always first. But that's only a time-limited thing, as one day they will strike out on their own and I will have to put me first again. And so I try to integrate that into my daily life. For years I lived without a purpose. I existed only. I worked hard, yes. I even had a fairly good career. Careers are important! They take up at least 1/3 of our time and usually more, since we think about them when we're not at work. So spending that much of one's life without reason and merely existing seems pointless. Yet, most of us live that way.

A year ago I lost my employment. It was a nice job, that I was enjoying a lot and truly believed had some great potential. But the company owner decided that it was over - he wanted to put his resources elsewhere. And I realized that I really didn't have a direction in my life. What was I going to do? I could have easily went back into accounting full time. But I also knew that was not for me. I would have ended up with a complete breakdown by now, I'm sure of it. And that wouldn't have been good for my kids or me. And all I could think about was my creative outlets. My writing. My drawing. My armour. My sculpture.

Ever since I was a kid all I wanted to do was artwork and writing. I realize that is quite broad. There's so much to the artwork that I am capable of, it confuses people. I can draw. I can paint. I can sculpt. I can draw with pencils, pastels, inks, found media, charcoal... anything. And I know how to paint with oil, acrylic, watercolour, and other media. And I can sculpt from metal, wood, clay, and more. I can make jewellery with gold and silver. I can make armour. And I can even work leather. I don't think there are too many artists who are capable of working with so many things. My mind wanders easily. I get bored with one thing and have to move on to another. I think that is why I have learned so many creative methods.

Does my art need more direction, though? I so sometimes wonder if I should focus on one medium more - not to the complete exclusion of others - but for the majority of my work. What is my purpose in life and art?

I do need to write! There are a few projects that I will finish in this regard. But I have more focus in my writing and know what my priorities are there. The visual art.... Well, I confuse people with what I do. There is so little understanding of someone who really is capable of so many things! And so I think that I will have to concentrate on two or three mediums over the next six months and see if that helps. I've already chosen metal as one of these. Maybe less true armour and more "art". But I also have to do some of my drawing, or I will go nuts. I need that outlet!

In this past year, I feel as if I've found who I am once again. It's like the previous 12 years or so I was living in a world of someone else's dream. It wasn't mine. I was only going through the motions of surviving. And I could have been caught in that for a few more decades. And it would have killed me and all the wonder I can bring to the world. Isn't art a good purpose to have?

Calgary Comic Expo - a Real Learning Experience

So, last weekend I was at the Calgary Comic Expo, which had an estimated 50,000 people attend. Obviously most of these never saw my stuff, or I would have been sold out. ;-)  But seriously, I know that my Artist Alley space should have been much better displayed than it was.  I have a tonne of ideas for future such events.

One thing I'm going to do is make, buy, or rent a higher table to set up behind the one that is already there. This will add another layer and some more table space. Plus the higher table will give a bit of a backing to set up some 2-dimensional works on. So, imagine another, higher table that probably is as high as the open (raised) part of the jewellery case shown here.

Now, in addition to that I want to get something to set up prints of and/or original paintings and drawings on behind these tables. So, with that I can display much more! And speaking of displaying more.... I want to have a suit of armour finished so that I can set that off to the side as part of my display, too! Imagine how cool it would look, and how many people it would attract, to have that by my space!

And I want all of these moved into the back part of my space, so that I can be in front of it all the time. I would also like to have a stand-up easel so that I can do a little bit of work while I'm there. It would be nice to show that I do original hand drawn and painting work, rather than the computer generated stuff that is so common at these kinds of shows. And this whole set up would work at any kind of trade show!

I do have some upcoming shows:

1. Mediaeval May: May 27, 2012 at Ritchie Hall (7727 - 98 Street, Edmonton), from 11 am to 4 pm.
2. Discover-E Trade Show, June 23, 2012, at the Executive Royal Inn (178 Street & 100 Ave, Edmonton)
3. Knights of the Nortern Realm, 11th annual Tournament and Market, Saturday, July 7, 10:00 am - 5:00 pm
   Dr. Wilbur McIntyre Park, 104 Street & 83 Avenue - good weather location
   Ritchie Community Centre, 7727  - 98 Street - bad weather location

Come to these all. I'll have new work at each of them, of course. 

Hope to see lots of people at all of these!

Calgary Comic Expo... On a Wing and a Prayer

It's been many years since I've sold at a Convention of any sort. I used to sell at SF and Fantasy conventions back in the 1990's. It was usually profitable. I sold only jewellery. But now I've expanded into selling prints of my artwork, and am hoping to take some orders for armour. We'll see about that happening. It's kind of scary!

For me this was a "last minute" kind of thing. I only heard about the convention a month ago and decided to see if I could get into it. And, much to my surprise, a spot came up and I got in! I would much prefer to have several original artworks available - and the prints for them - that are centred around the SF/Fantasy genre. A lot of my work isn't. I know that I really enjoy that kind of art, though. Yes, I'm the eclectic artist who does things in all manner of genres. But not everything is appropriate for all shows.

Blue Butterfly - 3-1/2" x 2" ink drawing

The big thing about this show is that I will be using it primarily as a learning experience. It is certain that I will be going next year! From this year's show I will learn what kinds of things sell, and what I should prepare for next year. I will also learn the best ways to present myself at this particular venue. Plus it will help me for other shows that are upcoming. I have one at the end of May (it's really small, with the Knights of the Northern Realm), another in June, and another in July. That's one each month! The May show probably isn't going to be a great seller, but I do expect to learn from it, as well. I'm thinking that I will have to figure out a way to display my prints, perhaps some original drawings, and a good way to display my three-dimensional works. And by June I expect to have some print copies of my game, too.

Selling a role-playing game is likely to be a challenge, as well. I wanted to have the system completed by March 30, but have been unable to keep up with that schedule. This is partially my fault, as I haven't managed my time (in March) as well as I should have. I've learned from that, and am now working much more diligently! I've realised that I was spending too much time on my marketing efforts, which haven't been paying off. I have since learned that having an extensive portfolio is more important at this stage of the game. And so I will be doing more production. In fact, other than the couple of tax returns I have to get done this weekend, I will be spending all of my time preparing for this show.

I will be making a lot of prints of my work. Some of what I'll do is art card editions and originals (ACEOs). These are the small prints, about the size of a business card, which I will be selling. I can think of a lot of drawings I have that are suitable for this! Or at least a dozen or so. ;-) My miniatures, such as the butterfly series are well suited to such a size. The butterflies, however, were originally done with small writing cards in mind. I was thinking of printing these on some good card paper and then selling them as such. I know I'll do a lot of those. I just hope they'll sell!

I will also be doing several prints of my gestural drawings, some of my fantasy ink drawings, and taking stuff to see if I can get orders for my armour. There is so much to get done! As much as I'm looking forward to the show, however, I am going to miss my kids. I can't take them to the show, as they'd have to miss school on Friday, and their mom usually has them on Sundays, so that would also be an issue. So I will drop them off at school Friday morning and their mom will have them for the whole weekend. <sigh> I will miss them a lot! Maybe next year I can bring one of them with me. My son will be old enough to handle it. And there are some events he might enjoy...

So, if you're in Calgary next weekend, come by the Expo and check out my booth!

Heart to Art

Explaining what my art is to me is never an easy thing. It's always complicated to explain something that is so broad and so diverse and has such an impact on my life. Art has always been important to me. In my high school year book everyone had to write what they wanted to be. I put "world famous artist". To me art has always meant more than just painting or drawing or sculpting. It also means writing. It means combining the two, which could mean illustrating my own work or someone else's writing. Or making the words themselves into a visual experience. 

"Split Earth" cuff bracelet

Yes, I do a variety of work. In the past year I've worried a lot about my art lacking a specific focus. I guess my whole life has been like that up until now. I've neglected my art career over the last decade quite a bit. In the 1990's I was in several juried shows, particularly for my silversmithing work, participated in group exhibitions, and had my work displayed in galleries throughout Western Canada. Could I even name one of those shows today? Nope... I lost all the information ages ago, probably when I moved to Germany, where I completed my MBA. That was a waste of time for me!

Well, maybe not completely. I did manage to visit some awesome galleries and museums. I got kicked out of the Louvre because I didn't hear the closing announcement and was still sketching and looking at work. <sigh> And I was about the 10th person in that day. I still didn't get to see everything I wanted, in that museum and several others. I'm hoping to go back again someday, perhaps when my kids are a little older. That way I can take them along and they can enjoy it, too.

I read a great quote from another artist earlier today:

"...I have stopped believing in a lot of what is thought of as art these days. It’s as if a couple of hundred, dull-headed middle-aged men and women – not just artists, but educators, curators, gallerists, and critics – have come up with a set of rules to define what real art and real artists are. The rules are vague and yet still as constrictive and moralistic as anything concocted by a Reformation cleric. Which is, I guess, exactly what one should expect since art became a kind of religion in the late 20th century, a cargo cult for the upper-middle-class, with the artists themselves playing make-shift shamen." - Hazel Dooney

It reminds me a lot of when I was in art school, back at the University of Calgary. It seemed that the professors were so pretentious and that if your art wasn't similar to theirs and what they thought art should be, it simply didn't matter. And even if you met all of the "technical" and other criteria that was outlined in an assignment, you could fail for their own judgement mattered most. It had to be the "art" they wanted it to be. And realism was greatly frowned upon at that time. It's one of the reasons that I switched my major from drawing to English composition (writing). And the dean of humanities almost didn't let me, because I had so many art courses that it was usually looked at as a double major. I bit the bullet and had art put on my transcript as a minor. Meh... I'm not sure it matters at all today. What I think matters most is the art itself.

Nowadays I make a lot of different things, artistically. I still do quite a bit of jewellery. And as drawing was my major, I do a lot of that. I sculpt. I make armour. I paint. My topics for all artistic mediums include landscapes, animals, people, historical and mythic subjects (my art professors hated that!), and some more controversial things. I'm very interested in fantasy, sexuality, and the human condition. And so I explore these things in my art and my writing. Even when I make jewellery I want it to be at least somewhat artistic. I rarely do anything that isn't like that any more (I'm glad I don't have to).

Art is truly the core of my heart. It is in everything I do and how I view the entire world. It influences everything I do - so it's no wonder it was such torture for me to be a full time accountant, which I did for a number of years (due to family pressure, particularly those I had married). I realized a couple of years ago that I had to live my life for me firstly. And then for my children. And that is all that matters, truly! My kids needed a sane dad. I was literally losing my hair and having a lot of health problems because of the stress of my life. And a huge portion of that was coming from doing work that I hated. Since I've been back to doing art full time, I've been healthier, happier, and easier to get along with. And my kids love that I can actually spend some real time with them! They their priorities straight -- they'd rather I spent time with them than worked tonnes and tonnes away from home to make a living. And being an artist allows me the flexibility to be with them on the days they live with me (they spend half of their time living with their mom).

With my kids I never have to explain my art. They simply accept that all the things I do are okay, and it doesn't have to fit into a particular style or genre or medium of work. I can make a leather belt with cool drawings all over it one day and the next day do the plans for a historical Norse Spangenhelm, complete with cool dragon knotwork in brass, then the next day work on an abstract drawing or painting, and a week later be doing something realistic. My son's favourite, of course, is when I draw monsters. He loves the fantasy theme work. And my daughter's favourites are my butterfly series and my fairies (sometimes I think I do those just for her) and one of my abstract paintings.

So, really, how do I define my art? There is no simple way to do so. I have to say that it is whatever inspires me, regardless of medium or topic, genre or style. My art ranges from the abstract to the comic, to realistic to fantasy, to wearable couture to the impractical and modern, from family oriented to sexually provocative. Maybe it's because I'm complex and don't fit into a simple mould. Nor would I want to. Life is much too interesting for that.